Life is Grand!

I have just finished the first week of nursing school! It is so awesome and I know that I am going to love it. All week I have felt like I'm in the right place, like I truly belong. I have been thinking a lot about medical school or becoming a Nurse Practitioner. I have decided that as long as I am single, I am going to continue my education. A family would be my first choice but I don't really have control in some of those aspects. I have had a lot of dreams lately about babies. My babies, other people's babies, and being pregnant. Let me tell you, it's a stress dream when you find out that you're pregnant even though there is NO POSSIBLE way you could be! Lol Anyway, I want to take my education to the max. Though I will always put having a family and children first, I want to continue pursuing medicine as long as possible.
For the past few years I wanted to get married so desperately. I longed for the companionship of a husband. Someone to invest everything in. I even thought I knew exactly who I wanted that person to be. I would have given anything to be with him two years ago. I knew with all my heart that I wanted to marry him, so you can imagine my shock when I found out that he didn't quite feel the same...understatement of the year. Still, I thought that I couldn't love someone THAT much and not have it work out in the end. After all he did want to end up with me...just several years down the road...Right? I put myself back together and decided to "move on" (ha ha) i began dating a lot and eventually started a relationship with someone else. I had fun, and felt extremely comfortable but something was missing. I didn't have that magic with him, the feeling of release and passion just wasn't there. I couldn't pursue that relationship any further after I realized too many old feelings still remained. "moving on" didn't work so well. It's been over a year since then and I have continued to date and have minuet relationships in the mix but I still couldn't shake Him off.
Until Now...
My outlook is different now. My heart is finally healed, and I know this because it's not just repaired after having been broken, it's actually whole again. I feel like i can do anything. I can meet anyone, see anything, go anywhere! My education is my passion, Nursing is my Love, and the Gospel holds me together. I have so much hope in the future. This IS the beginning of the rest of my life, and what a wonderful way to start it. I get to serve everyday in the lives of people who need healing. It is so humbling to see pure gratitude in a persons eyes as they look to you for help, comfort, safety, love, knowledge, and compassion. I get the opportunity to care for patients in their final days. I have never felt the spirit so strong as the day I connected with one of my patients. I'll share the story with you.
I was going through my CNA training and I was almost finished with the program. I had been assigned a woman who need a hoyer lift (machine to lift patients out of bed in to a chair) to be able to get out of bed. These machines can often times be terrifying to patients because it's a giant sling that lifts them, and they fell like it will drop them. Imagine being lifted up by a blanket (Like the stork brings babies:) and maneuvered all around. Not to mention adding 75 years of life, dementia, a few strokes, loss of eye site, and the loss of speech. To put you in her shoes, she was confused, had no clue where she was, partially blind, had people she didn't know touching her all the time, she can't speak or communicated, and then she gets tossed into this hoyer that is noisy, shaky, and scary. How terrifying!!! Rightfully so, she would scream every time they used the hoyer. I was told by the other CNA's that it's ok just keep going she does this every time. I had not moved her yet but i was determined to somehow make it less frightening for her.
Before I brought the hoyer in, I went into her room and just started talking to her. I could see it in her face that she understood what I was saying. Then I knelt down beside her bed and gently took her hand as I spoke. She mumbled back a lot and every once in a while would say words like, "that's nice, and you're kind". I felt as if we had become friends instantaneously. Her spirit was so bright, and her eyes had so much emotion behind them.
It was now time to move her so I left and brought back the hoyer. You always need two people to work a hoyer lift and so I had to grab the CNA who had warned me to basically ignore her screaming. Once again as we began to lift her from the bed she began to scream and tremble. It was at that moment that the spirit directed me. I took both of her hands as tears rolled down her face, I got very close and I began to sing to her my favorite Hymns.
As soon as I started to sing she stopped crying. She looked at me for a few moments and then like a miracle, she smiled and started to hum along.
As long as she had been there, she had never been moved without crying.
This is my life. Can you feel why I love it? My job will be to Love people, love them and know how to help them. They have healed my heart, Heavenly father knew that this was exactly where I would grow to my fullest potential. I knew that when I prayed asking what career I should choose. I love my life! This is where I am supposed to be right now.
Oh It is Wonderful...Wonderful to me!

Orientation.

Yesterday and today was Nursing orientation! Oh my goodness, i am going to be A NURSE!!! Holy cow. It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday. I was so excited to lean that i will be in a hospital next week! Up til this point i have been in class, reading books, studying models, and listening to the teacher. Now I will finally have practical application. I won't lie, this scared the pants off me! Do i know enough? Will i be overwhelmed? The professors said that the first month will literally feel like a class 5 hurricane hit. They said that it is so overwhelming that they have counselors on staff strictly for nursing students. The good thing is, they are all pulling for us. They want everyone to succeed, so it's not a scare tactic or a weeding out phase.
I am so excited that i can't even sleep! I got like 3 hours last night and i am Jazzed! Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh OH MY GOSH! My dream is finally here. I have worked SO hard to get to this point. All the countless hours of studying, the stressful tests, waiting in line at 3 am to get a spot in the science classes i needed, mental shut down after finals, gallons on Mt dew....has all lead up to this point. I am here. My life as a nurse is starting.
Haha and somehow i know that i will look back and think, what a piece of cake pre-nursing was! That is of course in comparison to what is about to come. It's like giving birth to a baby. People can tell you how hard labor is, or how painful it might be, but you don't really know until you actually go through it. It's sometimes terrifying to know that you are about to go through something that some people don't make it through. Something that is SO hard, so strenuous, so life altering....but so worth it.
Here goes. I am so thrilled to be here. Finally! Blood, sweat, tears+ 2 years= Nurse Julie.

Rough Day.

I knew that moving to Cottonwood would be a big change, in fact I even knew that i would have tons of major adjustments to make. I thought that i had prepared myself for what was in store for the next two years....I say this through tearing up eyes...I was not even close to prepared.



I have spent the entire week cleaning my room (which was perfectly clean by my Fathers standards) and i still have a ways to go. I have tried to describe the conditions of my room to some of my friends but i don't think that i quite got the point across. Today I finally reached my breaking point. I Have done well up to this point in my opinion, I have kept positive and repeated the saying...Rome was not built in a day. I guess i will give you a little back ground to what has lead up to my melt down.

My original goal was to JUST clean my room so that i could start moving my stuff in and get settled. I said this because i knew that tackling the whole house would be completely unrealistic. My Dad has become quite the bachelor. By this I mean he is incapable of seeing dirt, cobwebs, bugs, dust, grime, clutter, and cat hair. In his defence, he is legally blind in one eye and his eye sight continues to get worse. As for the smells of the house, he has no excuse. He hasn't quite grasped the concept of mildew. He will put a load of wash in and then forget about it. After a few days he might need to wash something else and so he finds the forgotten laundry. Not realizing that it has grown a few friends, he puts it in the dryer as if it was just washed. Unfortunately a few laundry sheets will disguise the smell just enough so not to notice. That's when you get the nice surprise of getting out of the shower and snuggling your wet face into a stank mildew towel! Poor man, i don't know how he has made it this long with out a woman's influence.

Day 1 :
I started with my bathroom. It was safe, (so i thought) small, and totally do-able. I crawled into the tub pants rolled up, bleach in hand, and went to work. The grime and calcium build up put up quite the fight but i was determined to win. Then i noticed that the water wasn't draining for some reason. As i got close I saw a big black object clogging most of the drain. Who knows what it could be, a hair ball, a sock, anything is possible. So I tried to push down the stopper when i heard a loud "CRUNCH" and simultaneously a long harry leg starts flailing from the black glob! I screamed when i realized that it was a HUGE brown recluse spider. I crunched it a few more times and doused it in bleach, just so that i could be sure it was dead. After that it was just bug after bug, spider after spider. They were everywhere in my room! I took a shop vac and tried to vacuum every corner and crevice. All of which were infested with massive cobwebs, dirt, and spiders.
Day 2-4:
I had trouble sleeping because i kept feeling little critters run across me throughout the night. I thought that i was just my imagination and tried to convince myself to relax and let it go. Well, it wasn't my imagination. I woke up covered in bites ranging from in between my toes to my scalp. Awesome...
Trying not to scratch, I began my cleaning expedition again! Even though i had worked all the day before, my room still looked awful:( ....Rome was not built in a day. Here I go.

Windows (count 7 including sliding glass door): de-gritify 6 years of never being cleaned. Windex how i love thee

Ledges: Scrape off dried cat vomit in 4 different locations. Scrub of dirt and dust. Clorox wipes how i love thee

Organize the Many antiques Daddy decorated my room with.... As well as Bambie hanging from the wall. Sorry dad but the dead deer head has got to go!

Day 5: The Melt Down

Somehow i wish i could describe the extent of all that happen this day but i don't think i can. The cleaning that i have been doing over the last few days has not been any ordinary cleaning job. Believe me, i have cleaned houses to supplement my income and people can be pretty gross. I myself can get really gross, I shed worse than anyone I know. Spending 5 days from morning til night cleaning one room should make just about anyone lose their marbles.
What was the breaking point.....
I am crouched over on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors and behind the toilet. My head is pounding because I have inhaled too much ammonia. My back is solidified in a hunch position. My feet and legs are asleep because I have been sitting on them for hours. Then I look at my fingers, almost every one of my cuticles is bleeding and burning from the products. I start to cry.
Just as I start to wipe the tears away i forget that my hands are covered in ammonia....OUCH!!!!
Now i am in full balling mode and running to the sink to wash my eyes out. I still don't quite know my way around the bathroom and in my panic i ran head first into the wooden cabinet. OUCH!!!! UGH! Finally i get to the sink and rinse out my eyes. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and balled for about 5 minutes and then felt ten times better. As i was collecting my thoughts and gearing up to be positive again, i looked down and saw a spider crawling up my leg.
At this point i just started cracking up and then i flicked him off my shin.

I feel much better after having written this. I know that i will get settled in, school will start, and i will have the time of my life pursuing my dream. Hard days will come, and thankfully I have the Gospel to always make my day better. I am also so thankful to my sister who let me cry on the phone to her. She is the absolute best!
Alright life! I cried and now i am ready to get back in the ring with you! Bring it on:)

The First Blog...

Hello Blog!
With the help of my sister and my friends i hope to get the hang of this blog world. I never thought that i would have a blog before i got married because i didn't think that anyone would be interested in my single life. As it turns out I never have a dull moment in my life. I think that this will be a fun way to share my thoughts in a journal sort of way. So if you would like to keep up on my life... read on. I will try to update this blog as i dig my way through Nursing school and life. My love life alone could have it's own blog at times! Here goes...a life of Jewels. The good, bad, beautiful, fun life of Jewels!